Run, run, run, run,run! - August 16, 2008
I'm back!!!
From Miami, that is. Had a wonderful time relaxing, dancing, eating, kayaking, snorkeling and people watching. Amazing coffee in Miami. I was wired.
So, I head back into the studio to record a song next week with my friend, Mack Damon, who produced my last CD. It's a let's-see-what-we-can-do kind of thing that I'm excited about. It's fun to work with your friends. It's a new studio space and a whole new feel. It will be awesome. Plus, he tells me the unplugged video is well on it's way and I should be posting it soon.
Meanwhile, it's marathon training for me. This is my third and, now that I know I can finish, I want to push myself a bit more. Another let's-see-what-we-can-do kind of thing, if you will. I started running regularly a while back and felt like I'd hit a plateau. My time wasn't improving, my pace wasn't getting any quicker and I wasn't in any better shape than the last time so, I decided to ask for help.
With advice from personal trainer, Kristy Clarke (who is now in Australia and we miss her much) I feel like I'm on the right track (ahem...so to speak). She pointed out my big mistake. I was training at my maximum heart rate. In other words, my heart was doing everything it could to just keep up with me. There was no room for improvement...it was doing the best it could...survival mode.

The lovely Kristy Clarke
Well, that spoke volumes. What I had to do was slow down if I wanted to speed up, train at a lower heart rate until my heart was ready to go faster. Let my heart tell me how fast to go? What?!? You can imagine how my ADHD brain took to that one. It's tedious. It feels like I'm running in slow motion. But there I am "running" up a hill at a snail's pace. I'll be honest here and say that I used to make fun of people who ran so slowly that other people could pass them walking. Now, I think maybe they have their reasons.
The good thing is it's giving me more time to think. On one of my longer runs it really hit me how perfect it is to learn to do this now. It's such a metaphor for what I've been going through the last couple of years. I was always getting ahead of myself and pushing my heart faster than it was ready to go. It's like being in a panic wanting to experience everything that's ahead now, now, NOW!!! Can't wait and don't want to (remind you of a song on my player?). No patience. That virtue has never been my strongest. All this time, I thought I was letting my heart lead but, the opposite is true. I let my brain run away with itself and the reason it hurts is because my heart can't keep up.
With that in mind, I'm allowing myself to slow down in all aspects of my life. I'm trying to be patient and let things unfold as they should. And, most importantly, I'm enjoying things as they happen instead of always running to get to what happens next.
There have been moments when I've had to laugh at myself. I sat across from someone the other day who was talking to me and I was screaming in my head "FOCUS!!! LISTEN!!! PAY ATTENTION". I don't remember what the hell they were saying but I made a huge effort and I hope it at least looked like I was listening.
There have also been simply beautiful moments that I would have missed if I hadn't slowed my pace. A moment in the presence of someone who loves you and someone you love. Wow. Those can pass so quickly and if you're not 'in the moment' you miss it. I'm so grateful for experiencing that feeling of just being full. It fuels me. I can see that Kristy was right. Things will get faster and better. There is no need to rush. When I let that little obligation go, the one that tells me 'you HAVE to NOW' the panic is gone and I'm enjoying life in a way I haven't in years.
Live, love, be free - LM
From Miami, that is. Had a wonderful time relaxing, dancing, eating, kayaking, snorkeling and people watching. Amazing coffee in Miami. I was wired.
So, I head back into the studio to record a song next week with my friend, Mack Damon, who produced my last CD. It's a let's-see-what-we-can-do kind of thing that I'm excited about. It's fun to work with your friends. It's a new studio space and a whole new feel. It will be awesome. Plus, he tells me the unplugged video is well on it's way and I should be posting it soon.
Meanwhile, it's marathon training for me. This is my third and, now that I know I can finish, I want to push myself a bit more. Another let's-see-what-we-can-do kind of thing, if you will. I started running regularly a while back and felt like I'd hit a plateau. My time wasn't improving, my pace wasn't getting any quicker and I wasn't in any better shape than the last time so, I decided to ask for help.
With advice from personal trainer, Kristy Clarke (who is now in Australia and we miss her much) I feel like I'm on the right track (ahem...so to speak). She pointed out my big mistake. I was training at my maximum heart rate. In other words, my heart was doing everything it could to just keep up with me. There was no room for improvement...it was doing the best it could...survival mode.

The lovely Kristy Clarke
Well, that spoke volumes. What I had to do was slow down if I wanted to speed up, train at a lower heart rate until my heart was ready to go faster. Let my heart tell me how fast to go? What?!? You can imagine how my ADHD brain took to that one. It's tedious. It feels like I'm running in slow motion. But there I am "running" up a hill at a snail's pace. I'll be honest here and say that I used to make fun of people who ran so slowly that other people could pass them walking. Now, I think maybe they have their reasons.
The good thing is it's giving me more time to think. On one of my longer runs it really hit me how perfect it is to learn to do this now. It's such a metaphor for what I've been going through the last couple of years. I was always getting ahead of myself and pushing my heart faster than it was ready to go. It's like being in a panic wanting to experience everything that's ahead now, now, NOW!!! Can't wait and don't want to (remind you of a song on my player?). No patience. That virtue has never been my strongest. All this time, I thought I was letting my heart lead but, the opposite is true. I let my brain run away with itself and the reason it hurts is because my heart can't keep up.
With that in mind, I'm allowing myself to slow down in all aspects of my life. I'm trying to be patient and let things unfold as they should. And, most importantly, I'm enjoying things as they happen instead of always running to get to what happens next.
There have been moments when I've had to laugh at myself. I sat across from someone the other day who was talking to me and I was screaming in my head "FOCUS!!! LISTEN!!! PAY ATTENTION". I don't remember what the hell they were saying but I made a huge effort and I hope it at least looked like I was listening.
There have also been simply beautiful moments that I would have missed if I hadn't slowed my pace. A moment in the presence of someone who loves you and someone you love. Wow. Those can pass so quickly and if you're not 'in the moment' you miss it. I'm so grateful for experiencing that feeling of just being full. It fuels me. I can see that Kristy was right. Things will get faster and better. There is no need to rush. When I let that little obligation go, the one that tells me 'you HAVE to NOW' the panic is gone and I'm enjoying life in a way I haven't in years.
Live, love, be free - LM



















